Sunday Suppers: Orgasmushrooms

This would also be appropriate for Tipsy Tuesday, but I just couldn't wait!

You'll need:
half a pound to a pound of mushrooms (I used button mushrooms)
2 T. butter
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 c. cream or half and half (or a mix)
salt and pepper
nutmeg
sugar, if needed
sherry
frozen puff pastry shells

I haven't yet figured out puff pastry shells, so I cheat. Pepperidge Farm's shells are veg-friendly, but always read the labels. Anyway, get them baking while you make the rest of the dish.

1. Pull out the mushroom stems. Save them for broth. Slice the mushrooms. Peel the garlic.

2. Melt the butter in a large skillet (medium heat). Add the mushrooms and stir. Once they've started to soften, add the garlic. Stir so nothing sticks or burns (you might need to turn the heat down).

3. Add salt and pepper to taste, then pour on your dairy. (I think this would work with plain soy creamer, though I've never tried it.) Let it bubble and thicken.

4. Give it a taste. If it's too salty, add a pinch of sugar. If it's bland, add some more salt and pepper. If it tastes thin, add some more butter.

5. Add a good splash of sherry, after tasting the sherry to make sure it's still good. Stir well and let cook for a moment to burn off any raw alcohol taste.

6. The mushrooms should be well sauced, but not swimming in it. (If you do want soup, though, just use the whole pint of cream. Please note that this is not a health food.)

7. The shells should be done by now, so take them out of the oven, remove the centers (if necessary), and fill with the mushroom mixture. Serve immediately, with small glasses of sherry.

Carrot Salad

This salad couldn't be simpler. I learned it from my French host mom, Odile Braun, many years ago. You do have to start a bit in advance, but it's quite simple.

1-2 lbs. carrots, peeled and grated
2 or more cloves of garlic, pressed
1-2 T fresh tarragon, minced
1-2 T red wine vinegar
2-4 T olive oil (use cold-pressed if preparing for a raw eater)
salt and pepper to taste

Grate the carrots into a large bowl.

Press the garlic directly into the bowl and toss to mix. (Note: if you don't love raw garlic, you can zap it in the microwave for about 15 seconds to take the raw edge off. Obviously, this would make it no longer raw. If you do love garlic, double the amount and cancel your date.) Add the tarragon and toss again. In a small bowl, whisk together the oil and vinegar and season to taste with salt and pepper. Pour this over the carrots and toss well.

Taste the salad. Does it need anything? More dressing? Salt? More tarragon? Once it's seasoned to your satisfaction, cover the bowl and put it in the fridge to marinate for a few hours. Toss it every so often if you remember to. Remove from the fridge about half an hour before you serve it.

Sunday Suppers: Dan's Birthday Dinner

Last night, we celebrated my mom's boyfriend's birthday. We served a five-course dinner. Here's what I ate:

Creamed Garlic Mushrooms in Puff Pastry
Onion Soup with Cheese Toast
Carrot-Tarragon Salad
Tempeh in Lemon, Paprika, and Cream Sauce with Sundried Tomatoes
Rum Cake

Wino Wednesday: Notlejon

My mom makes a dish she calls potlejon. It's a type of eggplant casserole made with ground meat, baked eggplant, and tomato sauce, then topped with cheese. Some quick research showed that it is not potlejon at all. Potlejon is a roasted eggplant salad.

Anyway, I decided that in all fairness, I should call this NOTlejon. It's a cross between Italian and Middle Eastern. I'd suggest pairing it with a nice red that has a bit of spice.

Here's how:

Start by roasting the eggplant. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Slice a large eggplant in half lengthwise, then cut into slices about 3/4 inch thick. Coat a cookie sheet in olive oil, and lay the slices of eggplant down on top. Pop in the oven. Check after about 15-20 minutes. When the eggplant is golden brown on top, turn the slices over and put it back in the oven. Cook for another 15-20 minutes, or until it's cooked through. The eggplant will shrink down to about 1/4 inch thick when it cooks. When it's done, take it out of the oven and turn the temperature down to about 350.

While the eggplant is in the oven, cook some quinoa. You'll need about 1 1/2 c. of cooked quinoa for this recipe.

Start on the sauce. Either make your own tomato sauce, or heat some from a can. Either way, you should saute about half a cup of chopped onion and a clove or two of garlic in the pan first. Add the sauce. Give it a taste and improve as desired. I usually add some basil, marjoram, and oregano. I also like adding wine or vinegar and chopped olives.

When the quinoa is done, stir it into the sauce.

Get yourself a casserole dish. You can grease it with oil if you want to.

Add a vertical layer of eggplant against one edge of the casserole dish. You want the skin side facing up. It will make a pretty pattern when you're done. It helps to tilt the casserole. Add some of the quinoa-sauce mixture. You want about half an inch to an inch. Add another row of eggplant slices, then the sauce mixture. Repeat. At the end, you'll have a dish that has red and purplish stripes. Cute, huh?

Sprinkle a layer of cheese on top (or nutritional yeast, if you are dairy-free). Pop it in the oven and bake, uncovered, until the cheese melts and the mixture is heated through.

Bonus: chop some veggie sausage and cook in oil until crispy. (Season with more salt, crushed pepper, and fennel seeds if it needs it.) Sprinkle on individual portions.

Breaking News: Seattle Snowpocalypse Soup

We interrupt our regular programming to bring you a special report: the end of the world is nigh, at least in Seattle. We're expecting to get dumped on over the next few days. Makes me wish I had someone to make a snowman with.

Knowing this, I decided to drive down to my mom's house. If I'm going to be stuck, I'd rather be with my mom and cat than alone in my condo. Not only do I enjoy having company, I also expect that if the power goes out, it will be a hell of a lot warmer here than it would be at my condo if the power goes out. (I'm down to my last two fire logs.)

When I got up this morning, it was about 3 inches deep and coming down steadily. It took me forty-five minutes to get to Costco. (It should have taken fifteen minutes, tops.) It took me another half an hour to get back on the freeway and down to Bellevue. Ew. Imagine my surprise when, upon passing the exit to 520, all of the snow disappeared. Nothing in Bellevue. Nothing on Mercer Island. No snow falling, either. It was due to start this evening sometime. (As of right now, 10:35, nothing.)

Well, apparently it will start about midnight.

Anyway, I decided to make something special for the cold weather and impending hibernation. Here it is:

Seattle Snowpocalypse Soup ("Sausage," White Bean, and Kale)

You'll need:
1 smallish yellow onion
2 cloves of garlic
2 large cremini mushrooms (together, they were about the size of my fist)
1 bunch of kale
1 can of cannellini beans (15 oz)
1 can of diced tomatoes (15 oz)
1 quart of homemade veggie stock (check out my recipe!)
2 Italian-style veggie sausages
2-3 T. olive oil (you might need more)
salt, fennel seeds, black pepper, marjoram, oregano, and crushed red pepper

1. Cook the sausages in a skillet according to the package directions. Use most of the oil. I cook it until it's got a pretty significant crust on it. Then, chop it, and toss it back in the pan with a sprinkle of salt and crushed red pepper. Let it continue to cook a bit over very low heat while you move on.

2. Heat the remaining oil in a large soup pot over medium-low heat.

3. Dice the onion and toss it in the oil. Stir it on occasion while you work on the following steps.

4. Mince the garlic. Add it, and stir. If you notice anything browning, turn the heat down. If it sticks, add a bit more oil, or add a splash of stock or white wine.

5. Dice the mushrooms finely and add them. Stir it all until everything has softened, then add the sausage bits.

6. Add the tomatoes, undrained. Stir well.

7. Add the stock, stir, and turn the heat up to medium. Toss in a sprinkle of oregano, marjoram, crushed red peppers, and black pepper. The soup should start to bubble, but not boil wildly.

8. Prep the kale. Tear the leaves from the tough stems and chop. Add this to the soup, cover, and turn the heat down. Check it after about twenty minutes. Taste a piece of kale. It should be fairly tender, but some bite is still okay. Add the drained beans, stir well, and allow to heat through. Check the seasoning. You might need more salt, oil, pepper, or herbs. You know how you like it, I don't.

9. Scoop into a bowl. Top with shaved Parmesan, if you like it, and serve with a chunk of French bread. Enjoy by the fire.

*Note: The veggie sausage I used contained egg, but there are vegan brands out there. Check the label!

(Early) Vegan Vendredi: Soft Tacos

So, today I had a bit of a pity party. I finally got back to the gym after a six-month-plus hiatus and realized that I have pretty much totally lost all of my fitness. Boo-hoo. I also had a gloomy am-I-going-to-be-alone-forever moment. I also got flashed by a five-year-old. And my lips got chapped. Sniffle. I know that life isn't all bad... I have a new condo. I've got more work than I have had in the past couple of years (woot!), which will mean more money (and less free time, unfortunately). But, I'm still smarting over the disappearance of a certain guy. I'll get over it eventually.

Anyway, tacos. I knew I had some Daiya shreds and Better Than Sour Cream in my fridge at home, so when I saw the Mexican Smart Ground, I knew that I'd be having quasi-Mexican for dinner. I do like the Smart Ground. It provides protein and a nice textural contrast, and it's more flavorful than some other meat analogs.

However, I usually like a bit more kick. I minced one clove of garlic and put it in a small skillet with about two tablespoons of oil. I added the Smart Ground, then extra cumin, cayenne, and a bit of marjoram and some water.

While that heated up, I took a handful of mixed lettuce and shredded it, then decanted all of my other toppings: olives, salsa, the Daiya shreds, and the Better than Sour Cream. I tried to make it cute.

Tipsy Tuesday: Beeruben

So, this is two days late, but oh well. If you haven't already looked at Skinny Bitch in the Kitch, you should do so. It's great. This recipe is based on their Ruben recipe. I obviously have made a few small changes.

1. Start with your Leanlife Smart Bacon. This works well here, as it holds together nicely. The Fakin' Bacon would crumble too much for this recipe. Put four slices of the bacon into a skillet, sprinkle with granulated garlic, and cover with beer. I used Amstel Light, which happens to be my favorite. According to Barnivore, it's also vegan! Turn the heat to medium-high. Turn on the broiler to pre-heat. Let the bacon poach while you get everything else ready. Turn the slices every so often. When all the beer has evaporated/been absorbed, remove the skillet from the heat.

2. Toast two pieces of rye bread. You'll be putting this under the broiler, but having it toasted helps keep everything from getting soggy.

3. Scoop yourself about 1/2 a cup of sauerkraut. Squeeze out some of the liquid. Put that on one piece of bread.

4. Put the bacon on the other piece of bread. Top the bacon with a slice of Swiss cheese (or a vegan alternative, if you happen to have it... I'm working on this).

5. Put both pieces of bread under the broiler. Get some Thousand Island dressing out, or make your own by mixing Veganaise, ketchup, and sweet pickle relish. I used two parts Veganaise and one part each ketchup and relish.

6. Pull the sandwich out, put the dressing on the sauerkraut, put the two halves together, cut in half, and eat. Drink the rest of the beer if you haven't already done so.

Meatless Mondays: Pasta Carbonara for One

Happy New Year! My New Year's Resolution is to manage my time better so that I can meet my goals. One specific way I want to accomplish this is to set aside 5 hours a week for writing, including for this blog. (I am also starting on my religion blog, SWFseeksgod, this month. After over a year of thinking about it, and six months trying to plan, I decided to just wing it.) Anyway, here's my newest dish.

Every once in awhile, you eat something that makes you think, “Life is good.” I’d only had spaghetti carbonara once or twice, when I was in Italy many years ago. I remember liking it okay, but being incredibly impressed. However, for some reason, I developed a craving for it a few days ago. This isn’t the first time I have developed a craving for something unfamiliar. Three summers ago, I developed an insane craving for fresh figs, even though I’d never tried one before. I decided to indulge myself. I found Sabrinatee’s version on allrecipes.com and decided to give it my best shot. 

Pasta carbonara is one of those things that you wouldn’t expect to translate to vegetarian very well. It is, essentially, spaghetti with garlic, bacon, and cheese. Finding vegetarian cheese isn’t too tough, thanks to Joyous Living.  But bacon? Vegetarian bacon varies quite a bit from brand to brand. My favorite commercially-available brand is the Lightlife Smoky Tempeh Strips. Unfortunately, I can only get it at PCC, and I was in no mood to drive there. I’d have to make do with what I could find. That turned out to be Lightlife Smart Bacon, a low-fat vegetarian rendition of bacon. (It has 1/5th the calories of the tempeh strips and less than half the fat.) 

Smart Bacon is salty, savory, and slightly smoky. However, as a healthy alternative to the “bad” version, it is missing the essential greasiness. I love that these vegetarian options are helping folks keep their cholesterol and fat levels down. However, even veggies need to indulge. A lot of vegetarian food seems to go one of two ways: extremely light and healthy or extremely rich and heavy. There’s a time and place for either, but it irks me when I walk into a restaurant and find that the vegetarian option is a cheese-heavy Alfredo sauce or a sauceless vegetable plate. There is a middle ground! But I digress. What is important to take away from this is that I completely ignored the cooking instructions on the Smart Bacon and wound up with something tastier but less virtuous. (Virtuous pasta carbonara? Who am I kidding.)

Spaghetti Carbonara for One (will serve two if you have salad, nibbles before, and/or dessert after)

Ingredients:

¼ lb. spaghetti rigati (this holds sauce better than the smooth spaghettis)

1-2 T. olive oil

2 strips of Smart Bacon or other faux bacon product (thaw if frozen)

1 clove of garlic, minced

¼ c. chopped onion (or more if you don’t have a date)

1 egg, beaten well

2 T. Parmesan

salt and pepper

1.     Bring a big pot of salted water to boil over high heat.

2.     While it’s heating up, in a large nonstick skillet, heat 1 T. olive oil over medium heat. When the oil is hot, swirl it over the bottom of the pan and add the two slices of bacon. Immediately flip them over so both sides are coated with oil.

3.     Keep an eye on the bacon and the water. Mince the garlic and chop the onion if you haven’t already done so.

4.     Flip the bacon once the bottom starts to darken. Put the pasta into the boiling water and stir once so it doesn’t stick.

5.     Check the bacon. You don’t want it burned, but it should be getting crispy around the edges. Remove it from the pan and let it drain on a paper towel. Put another 1-3 teaspoons of oil into the pan (depending on how much the bacon absorbed) and add the onion. Stir and cook until it is translucent, then add the garlic and cook until it softens. Between stirs, chop the bacon and drain the pasta (if it’s done). Don’t rinse it!

6.     Add the chopped bacon to the pan and stir well.

7.     Add the drained pasta and toss well to coat. Use tongs or a couple of forks or spoons. Just don’t scratch the Teflon. You want the pasta to be fairly evenly coated with residual oil and for the bacon, onion, and garlic to be studded throughout. The pasta should be very hot. If it’s not, toss it around a bit more to heat it up.

8.     Take the pan off of the heat. Take a deep breath. Pour on the beaten egg and mix like crazy. You want each piece of pasta to be coated with egg. Don’t stir… you don’t want to have spaghetti with scrambled egg. Try to keep the egg from touching the hot pan if possible. Once the egg has set, add 2 T. Parmesan. Sprinkle on a bit of salt and pepper if it needs it. I used crushed red pepper.

9.     Eat as soon as possible. The texture is not nearly so enjoyable if you let it get tepid or cold.